Bailey83221 ([info]bailey83221) wrote,
@ 2004-12-11 21:59:00
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"Web critique: America's cultural icon amnesia" moved to: http://www.livejournal.com/users/bailey83221/23176.html

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[info]erickson7712
2005-01-25 05:07 am UTC (link)
I've decided to say something to you, after having read your request to be banned from the misfit mormon community, which comment was began with the words "Hey man,
Can you do me a favor now, can you ban me from misfitmormon?"

It made me very sad to read what you had written. I was once in a position similar to yours, in which I felt like I was cutting off the last strand of connection I had with the church, save my necessary connection to my family as they were very active in the church.

And then, for the freaking heck of it... I was prompted to read the Book of Mormon. I also had a girlfriend at the time (still do) which was an example to me of how faith in the gospel brings such true and real joy in your life, but that is just a small contributing factor to my return to the church.

Bailey, please don't give up on the church. Study the Book of Mormon.. live the standards of the church and try to obey the words of Christ. See what work this might have in your soul. I beg of you, as your spiritual brother, to take heed of this advice. Study the gospel, privately, humbly... and experiment on the words of these prophets. Experiment on the words of what I believe to be our Father in Heaven. I beg of you to not let go of whatever connection you may have to the gospel, and to please give it one more chance. I can't watch you go away and not urge you to stop at least for a minute and give it one last consideration.

Pray. Obey. You don't have to believe. Just try it. I'm blessed beyond the ability of words to describe, to have been prompted by what I believe to have been the Holy Ghost to not turn away forever but to give it another chance. And it worked. Lo and behold the church is ACTUALLY true.

Please don't leave the church.

(Reply to this) (Thread)
Noble men like you
[info]bailey83221
2005-01-27 01:15 am UTC (link)
Hey man,

I really have nothing against you... Your a nice guy. I don't think we could have ever been best friends, but you seem sincere.

If you keep being so sincere, I am going to start feeling guilty for giving you such a hard time.

I appreciate your concern man. I know you cannot understand this, and probably will never understand it, but I was never happy in Mormonism. I have a hard time come to terms with that, but it is better than living a lie and not being honest to myself.

See, after my mission 92-94, Phoenix, AZ, I started to study the history of the church, I had this naive notion that it would just strengthen my testimony. It didn't, and I opened a Pandora’s box, which I could not close. I had too many questions, and really weak answers.

I prayed a lot and never got answers, just more questions.

I went thought hell, and I would never ask anyone to go through the same hell as I did, it is hard to realize that you will never really fit in within the culture that you grew up in.

I went from:

inactive,
\/
to a jack Mormon of sorts (I never stopped following the W of W),
\/
to general Christian,
\/
to agnostic,
\/
to atheist.


I am now married to a wonderful Ukrainian and I have a great family. I am in law school, and hope to live abroad for the rest of my life. See, I not only never fit into Mormon culture, but I never fit into American culture either. That is a hard thing to come to terms with. I have lived so many dreams, and have so many more. I am a humanist in addition to being an atheist (you may see me as an agnostic, since I believe you can never truly "disprove God"). You probably will disagree, but I feel my mind open up much more because of this path I took. I am not content 100%, but I believe that I am happier than I would be within Mormonism.

See you can't wish to believe. You either believe or you don't. Before I sometimes wished that I could go to the store and buy a jar of "faith", just so that I could feel like I belong again. I am trying to come to terms with my beliefs, and arguing with you and everyone on Mormon really helps therapeutically.

It is just that I have gotten to the point that religion is no longer important to me. I moved on to politics and completely turned my beliefs about politics on its head too.

Other ex-Mormons do the same thing, the author of 2think.org basically took the exact same path as me. He moved on.

* Many Mormons go on to join the Unitarian church, ironically, my first baptism did this. (on her own, without me)

* A large portion become agnostics, and don't join any church.

* The third type are often what creates the anti-Mormons, they are the Mormons who join mainstream Christian churches.

The ones who are hard core anti-Mormons, like the Tanners, never truly come to terms with the religion and the cultural exclusion.

I have a former Mormon friend like that, and I really feel sorry for him. So much of his identity is wrapped up in his opposition to the church. It is very emotionally unhealthy that a good portion of his life is so wrapped up in negativity. He fights with people all the time.

I think the discontent you feel towards me, the bad spirit, the sadness in your heart, is because I was once a believer like you, but I rejected what is the most important thing and central pillar of your life. I am an anomaly, a thorn in your otherwise organized reality. A possible fracture in your otherwise solid belief system. You seem to want to come to terms with how I could have everything you had, and turned my back on it. All I can say is: ask the right questions, never the wrong dangerous ones, and you will always remain faithful and happy in the world you have so painstakingly created and built for yourself.

So, I wish you the best Erik. I sense that you are ambitious, like the AP on my mission who is now a doctor. Follow your dreams, don’t wait for the after life to realize your true potential.

Remember: “Goals are stars to guide us, not stripes to beat us.”

Learn to laugh and see the absurdity in life, that is what keeps me sane.

I will try to stop being such an a** to people, like noble men like you.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)
original message in case erased
[info]bailey83221
2005-01-28 08:02 am UTC (link)
From: erickson7712

I've decided to say something to you, after having read your request to be banned from the misfit mormon community, which comment was began with the words "Hey man, Can you do me a favor now, can you ban me from misfitmormon?"

It made me very sad to read what you had written. I was once in a position similar to yours, in which I felt like I was cutting off the last strand of connection I had with the church, save my necessary connection to my family as they were very active in the church.

And then, for the freaking heck of it... I was prompted to read the Book of Mormon. I also had a girlfriend at the time (still do) which was an example to me of how faith in the gospel brings such true and real joy in your life, but that is just a small contributing factor to my return to the church.

Bailey, please don't give up on the church. Study the Book of Mormon.. live the standards of the church and try to obey the words of Christ. See what work this might have in your soul. I beg of you, as your spiritual brother, to take heed of this advice. Study the gospel, privately, humbly... and experiment on the words of these prophets. Experiment on the words of what I believe to be our Father in Heaven. I beg of you to not let go of whatever connection you may have to the gospel, and to please give it one more chance. I can't watch you go away and not urge you to stop at least for a minute and give it one last consideration.

Pray. Obey. You don't have to believe. Just try it. I'm blessed beyond the ability of words to describe, to have been prompted by what I believe to have been the Holy Ghost to not turn away forever but to give it another chance. And it worked. Lo and behold the church is ACTUALLY true.

Please don't leave the church.

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